Hellraising and hospitals Hell-raising and hospitals My coke habit had caused an abscess the size of a golf ball that eventually burst through my face. It ended up with me in hospital for emergency surgery. In the time leading up it, I had acted as if things were fine. I gave up coke and weed only to start drinking, and before I knew it, social services were on my doorstep. My recovery started at Cavendish House, and they referred to STAR. STAR told me about ESRA. I came to the café hub in Hastings and I now actively engage in some sort of recovery activity every day. In addition to ESRA, I also go to AA, STAR, and also the Recovery College. I now have a key worker at Southdown and will have my first meeting with them next week. I am getting to know everyone at ESRA and am making good progress. Just the other day I attended a meeting with social services where I was able to speak up for myself and explain to them how I really was doing well. ESRA has probably done more for me and my mental health than everything else put together. I might have f***ed up, but at least I didn’t give up. I can’t change the situation that I created, but I can do something about it, and I am definitely not going to jump back into that tornado that used to be my life. I am now a role model to some, including my 11-year old son, rather than an embarrassment to many. I have been clean for 9 months and I feel that I have the skills and the support to keep going.